My Humps

I was reminded to make this post by the song "My Humps" by Black Eyed Peas. It's really quite an absurd song with a lame video, but it came to mind when I was looking at myself in the mirror.

I was looking for silhouettes to help demonstrate my point and I thought I might as well include the following as well; although, I'm not sure if it'll be useful to my male readers:

Check the one that looks most like you.

Average hip. No excessive roundness directly below the waist at sides or back. There is no great sidethigh prominence. The greatest circumference measurement is at the seat level, usually 7-9" below waist.

Little difference. Little difference between hip and waist measurement; generally doesn't have curves below the waist.

Heart hip. Great roundness just below the waist. The upper hip measurement taken 3-4" below the waist will be larger than the measurement at the seat level.

Semi-heart hip. Curves below the waistline may not appear to be as extreme as the heart shape. The lower hip circumference may be the same or up to 1 1/2" more than the measurements taken 3-4" below the waistline. There is no thigh prominence.

Diamond hip. Great thigh prominence at the side. The difference between the waist and lower hip measurements is 11 1/2" or more.

Rounded diamond hip. Great prominence at the sides as well as curves just below the waistline. This sometimes makes the difference between the waist and hip much less than a standard diamond.

I think you could say I have the one in the first picture, the "Average" waistline. However, I'm not exactly Average anymore:
I've got something of a lump on the right side and my left side is just a little bit turned inwards but it's not noticeable. When I lie down, I can feel my left pelvic bone protrudes in the right position or at least how I remembered it, but the right side is flat, does not protrude and feels some what dislocated. It's all very subtle and it seems normal to the unsuspecting eye, but that's what it looks like in the mirror. I think my jeans aren't fitting quite right at the waistline because of it. I wonder if it'll show if I wore a clingy dress. Of course, if you were to check my x-rays it's position would not only be much more obvious, but you'd even see the fractures. The right leg was in traction for about eight weeks and that was the best it could do. I think it made my right leg a little bit longer than the left, but that's adjustable and I think the physiotherapist I was seeing did something to align them, but I'm not sure. My right leg bothers me from time to time when I'm walking, but it's tolerable, albeit a discomfort.

Nevertheless!

I'ma get, get, get, get, you drunk/ Get you love drunk off my hump./ My hump, my hump, my hump, (etc) / My lovely little lumps. (Check it out!).

Damn those stupid, catchy lyrics. See, if I were to dress like Fergie, I'd have uneven camel lumps XD